Starting Over

Yesterday I volunteered at a half marathon in an attempt to meet new people. Aside from realizing that I actually have no interest in meeting new people, I became nostalgic for when I was at my fittest and happiest. I was running, I was hiking, I was zumba..ing?

It’s been about a year since I stopped monitoring my weight and I’ve gained back almost everything I lost. I use “almost” because I have not stepped on the scale lately. It could be more than my original starting weight, I don’t know. I’m terrified to look. The one thing I took away from Weight Watchers (other than those egg cups that you add water to are disgusting) is that I didn’t gain this weight overnight, so I won’t be losing it overnight either.

The weight came back while I was ignoring the gym in favor of my biostatistics class, falling in love, undergoing treatment for my back. My gym routine became boring because everything I had to do was low impact. My pants got tighter in the thighs. My boyfriend and I would crush a Bota Box over the course of a weekend. My shirts became too short and tight. I went on wonderful vacations and told myself I would pay better attention when I returned home, but I didn’t.  I stopped preparing my meals. Pumpkin Muffins came back at Dunkin Donuts. I ordered new winter jackets a size up and expected them to fit, but they barely zipped and buttoned. The entire time I knew that I needed to be paying better attention to my caloric intake and physical activity, but I had excuses.

And here we are. Again.

I made good on two of the promises I had for myself this year. I promised myself I would travel more and I put a lot of my focus into work and school which has been rewarding so it’s not all bad. My health isn’t the only thing that fell by the wayside this last year and I’m looking forward to getting back into doing the things I love that make me the happiest #shaqbrunch.

Right now there’s a lot of hate, anger and sadness going on in our country. In these situations it’s so easy to become fixated on the negative and wrapped up in proposed changes that affect our friends and loved ones. More than ever it’s important to take care of ourselves so we can be our best for other people. But don’t let your need to help others affect your own self-care. You are important.

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3 responses

  1. I’m dealing with the exact same struggle as we speak. All the new clothes I bought no longer fit. I wish I could rewind and remind myself to keep my priorities in check. But no time like the present, I suppose. Thank you for sharing. ❤

  2. I love everything about you…but mostly your honesty. I have lost 50 lbs and counting. Every single day…sometimes every hour… is a struggle. But, the happiness I feel SO overshadows those struggles.

    1. No idea why my user name is that! ha! that post was from me- Deirdre B!

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