Coming in Off the Hot Tag!!

The focus of what I intentionally set out to do with writing has taken a turn towards always writing about dating and finding ways to your love yourself. It is supposed to be about things that I do and, since dating is a thing I guess I do, you get this gem. A friend posted a link to this story about a new dating website on Facebook and wrote “I immediately thought of you* when I saw this. (*You know who you are.)”

I took this as a challenge and signed up for  Tag Me a Date. Yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking: a dating service for wrestling fans.

My hope was that I would get a few yuks out of the format. Best case scenario? The Miss Elizabeth to my Macho Man. Yup, that is exactly what I meant.

Anyway, here’s a little blurb from the CEO/Co-Founder about how they do their matching.

Our site will allow people to find matches based on questions such as favorite wrestler, favorite manager, and favorite tag team. We also provide space for users to talk about what drove them to wrestling and to discuss the experiences of any live events they may have been to.

Could it be? Could I finally find that man that agrees Alicia Fox’s ring work has improved tremendously since being trained by Sara del Rey? Would he admit to originally thinking The Shield break up was a terrible idea, but has loved that dynamic between Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose? Does he know all of RD Evans personas and love them all equally? DOES HE HATE JOHN CENA AS MUCH AS I DO?

The first step is creating your “Wrestling Name”, referred to as a user name on every other dating website in existence, displayed to your future Ravishing Rick Rude or The Mountie (if you’re into that sort of thing.) I fought every single urge to call myself HardFartVictory. For the record, it’s The1in21and1 and I am now the coolest person you know.  The options under gender were “Male” or “Diva” which is how I imagine their headquarters hilariously labels their bathrooms that way. They should have been labeled “Superstar” and “Diva.” That earned a five chuckle shuffle from me. (I’M SORRY!).

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Following the typical demographic information, I went on to answer a series of “What’s/Whose your favorite _____?” culminating with “Which wrestler would you want to be?” Surprisingly, I chose Emma because she dances and is oblivious to everyone else. None of my answers were from the attitude era because I want a man with the same preference for PG entertainment (who really hates John Cena. Mandatory.)

This site must have been created by a fifteen year old that is approaching the midterm of his C++ class. I spent a solid twenty minutes trying to remember/(re)create my password and, no, it’s not because I am a 32 year old NARC. I began to worry that this week long project would not go forward due to a lack of people my age signing up for this. Oh god, what have I done?

Once I logged in, my eyes immediately focused on the “In Ring Action” button at the top of the screen (because it was the weirdest). The search fields were exactly what the CEO stated their matches would be based on. I typed in my Favorite Wrestler (Dean Ambrose), Favorite Tag Team (Team Hell No) and Favorite Manager (Paul Heyman) and a list of available gentlemen to watch wrestling with online not at all based on location was generated for me…with each man and their photo listed twice. What IS this?  I selected the first gentleman by clicking on a link below his photo reading “Tag Me” hoping to get a glimpse into some more interesting information.

It brought me to my own profile.

Okay, we’re done here. Now, if I can figure out how to delete this thing forever, I’ll be thrilled. What a hard fart…fart.

Regards.

(The above picture was taken at a WWE House Show in Providence, RI in 2012. Please do not steal. Not that you would.)

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One response

  1. This was hilarious and reminds me of when I tried to use Alikewise (dating website for book lovers) and failed miserably!

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